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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29767509">What now?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficfanxx/pseuds/fanficfanxx'>fanficfanxx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Ending, Betrayal, Broken Promises, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Betrayal, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:40:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,702</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29767509</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficfanxx/pseuds/fanficfanxx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lena tells Kara about the fact that she killed her brother in the fortress. Kara realizes that Lena already knew she was Supergirl.<br/>Things get out of control and Lena does something she will regret. This takes place during 5x07 but ends differently.</p>
<p>(Or, Lena used kryptonite on Kara in the fortess but realizes she might've just killed Kara in the process).<br/>Episode 5x07 is used in this.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor/Supergirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>173</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Kara’s point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>‘’I found out the day I killed my brother’’ Lena tells me. She is standing across from me. I see the pain in her eyes. It’s taken over her whole body. I notice the trembling in her lips. The only thing I want to do is take a step closer to her. To tell her that she didn’t kill her brother. That I was the one who killed Lex, not her.</p>
<p>I hesitate for a second but when I’m about to take step closer towards Lena she backs away. I notice the distance in her composure. She looks uncomfortable so I decide to stay still. Hoping for Lena to tell me what’s on her mind.</p>
<p>I see Lena staring at me with disgust. I can feel the tension in the room. It send shivers down my spine. Even though my instinct tells me not to talk I do it anyway. ‘’Lena,  you didn't  kill  Lex,  that  was  me.  I...  I  watched  him...  I  saw  him  fall’’ I tell her. Trying to convince Lena that she really wasn’t the one who killed him.</p>
<p>  Lena chuckles sarcastically before she starts talking. ‘’You saw  him  fall,  but  did  you  see  him  land?  Did  you  see  him  die?  I  did,  and let  me  tell  you,  it  wasn't  pretty’’.</p>
<p>I look confused at Lena. ‘’That’s impossible’’ I say to her.</p>
<p>Lena looks at me. Her eyes are filled with hate. I never saw it before in her eyes and somehow it made me realize what was happening. Everything I was so afraid off, was happening right in this moment.</p>
<p>I wanted to say something to Lena. To try to reason with her but before I could open my mouth Lena started talking to me.</p>
<p>‘’Anything's  possible when  you're  a  Luthor.  Lex  used  his  transmitter   portal  watch.  I  knew exactly  where  he'd  go.  To  the  cabin  we  loved  when  we  were  children,  so  I was  there  waiting  for  him.  I  had  the  gun  ready...  loaded.  I  could  feel the  weight  of  it  in  my  hands.  Every  fiber  in  my  being  rebelled,  but  I... I  didn't  want  to  do  it,  but  I  knew  I  had  to  because  if  Lex  lived,  the world  wouldn't  be  safe,  my  friends  wouldn't  be  safe.  So  I  forced  myself to  pull  the  trigger.  I  shot  my  own  brother  in  the  chest.  His  final  words to  me  were...  that  I  was  a  fool,  that  my  best  friend,  that  every  friend  I had  was  lying  to  me.  With  his  dying  breath,  he  told  me  that  you  were Supergirl...’’ Lena told me.</p>
<p>I looked right at Lena. Her eyes were filling with tears. I saw the hate disappear in her eyes. It was replaced with guilt and an intense amount of pain. All I want to do is hug her. To tell her how much she really means to me. To tell her that I would never, ever want to hurt her. To tell her she’s my world. But, I know that will only make things worse. I know I have to keep it in, in order for her to tell me what’s on her mind. Even though I know I won’t like what’s going to happen.</p>
<p>I pull myself together before saying something back. I take a deep breath before looking at Lena again. I try to hold back my tears back.</p>
<p>‘’ Lena,  you  have  to  believe  me,  I  never  meant  to  humiliate  you’’ I tell her with all the sincerity I have. I never meant to hurt her by keeping my identity a secret. There were so many times that I wanted to tell her. But never could.</p>
<p>‘’No.  When  I  came  to  this  city,  I  promised  myself  that  I  would  never  trust anyone  again,  and...  then  I  met  you.  You  chipped  away  at  my  armor  with your  warmth  and  your  earnestness,  and  you  convinced  me  to  trust  in  people and  friendship  again,  and  against  my  better  judgment,  I  did,  all  the while  telling  you  about  my  Achilles  heel...  betrayal.  I  confided  in  you that  everyone  in  my  past  had  betrayed  me.  About  how  much  it  hurt...  to have  someone  you  love  lie  to  you  and  betray  you.  I  spelled  it  out  to  you over  and  over  again,  essentially  begging  you  not  to  violate  my  trust, begging  you  not  to  prove  that,  once  again,  I  was  a  fool.  You  reassured  me ad  nauseam  that  you  would  never  lie  to  me,  that  you'd  never  hurt  me.  And all  the  while,  there  wasn't  a  single  honest  moment  in  our  friendship...’’ Lena yells at me. She struggles with her words but I know she means all of them. Especially the part about our friendship. I know she hates me. She hates me for lying to her. For keeping my secret.</p>
<p>The friendship part gets to me the most. The fact that Lena thinks that I was never honest with our friendship hurts a lot. ‘’ No!  No,  that  is  not  true...’’ I try to tell her. Trying to show her that I do care but she doesn’t want to hear it. I’m about to take a step closer to her but Lena backs away from me. She is upset and by me trying to reach for she reached her limit</p>
<p>‘’No!  I  killed  my  brother  for  you,  for  our friends!  Don't  you  understand  what  you've  done?’’ Lena screams out. Her cheeks are filled with tears. She is in so much pain and I know I am to blame for it.</p>
<p>I want to hug her. To comfort her. To know that she’s not alone in the pain she is feeling but I know she would never let me. So, I keep my distance and I try to figure out what to say to her. I know no words would be enough to make up for what happened. ‘’ When  you  found  out,  why didn't  you  come...  to  me  right  away,  so  I  could  explain... ‘’ I try to reason with Lena.</p>
<p>‘’Explain? Yeah’’ she scoffs at me. I hear the disgust in her voice. She’s done with me and I know it.</p>
<p>‘’ If  you  hate  me  so  much,  why...  Why  not  out  me  at  the  Pulitzer party?  Why  pretend  to  still  be  my  friend  this  long?’’ I ask her. Tears are running down my cheeks while I am trying to find the right words. The fact that Lena Luthor, my best friend, or the person who used to be my best friend, hates me is too much for me to handle.</p>
<p>Lena chuckles at me. She regains her composure before looking at me. I see the change in her behavior and it scares me. She was emotional a few seconds ago but somehow she managed to change her entire demeanor in just a moment. ‘’Because  I  wanted  you to  experience  what  you  did  to  me.  Feel  what  I  felt’’ she spills out to me.</p>
<p>I know that she means every word of it. But I want try to reason with her. I know she can’t take Myriad with her. No one would understand why she would take it. People would blame her even more for being a Luthor. The name she had despised so much from the beginning. That even I sometimes was guilty of having doubts about her, just because of her last name.</p>
<p>‘’ I  understand  your pain  and  your  fury  and...  And  you're  right.  I  made  a  big  mistake,  maybe the  biggest  mistake  of  my  life,  but  please...  Lena,  please  don't  leave the  Fortress  with  Myriad.  Please  don't  let  my  mistake  push  you  to  do something  terrible.  You  are  a  good  person’’ I tell her. I want to say so much more. I want to tell her that I love her. That she’s the reason why I am still Supergirl. But I know she would never believe me. Not after this.</p>
<p>Lena shakes her head at me. ‘’No!  No,  you  don't  ever  get  to  tell  me  who  or  what  I  am  again’’.</p>
<p>I’m about to say something to her. But I’m interrupted by the fortress defenses.</p>
<p><em>‘’Intruder! Intruder!’’ </em>I hear throughout the fortress.</p>
<p>I look at Lena who’s clearly enjoying what’s happening right now. I’m trying to take in what just happened. I realize that Lena must have done something. ‘’Did  you  reprogram  the  Fortress  defenses  to  attack  me?’’ I ask her silently.</p>
<p>‘’Yes.  And I  rigged  it  to  answer  to  this  little  button  I  have  in  my  hand’’ Lena nods at me. Before showing me the button in her hand. I see her press the button. In that second I’m stuck in my place. I feel my entire body becoming heavy. That’s the exact moment I feel the kryptonite spreading throughout my veins. I feel the burning ache becoming worse and worse. I try to regain focus but it’s almost impossible. The kryptonite never gets easier to handle. The fact that Lena just used kryptonite on me is even worse. I look at Lena, pleading for her to stop.</p>
<p>‘’Are you going to kill me..?’’ I somehow say. I have no idea how I even got the words out between the pain of the kryptonite creeping around throughout my entire body.</p>
<p>…..</p>
<p>
  <strong>Lena’s point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>The words Kara, or Supergirl, just said to me echo throughout my entire body. I sense the pain in the sentence Kara just said to me. I look away for a second at the ground because knowing Kara is in front of me, dying inside from the pain I just inflicted on her is too much for me. I don’t know when I have become like this but it scares me to death. I just never, ever imagined me actually doing this to her. To the girl I had fallen in love with all these months ago. Now, everything has gone to shit. Everything was ruined and I know I can never take any of this back.</p>
<p>‘’Please..Lena..’’ Kara begs me. I can hear the pleading in her voice. It makes me realize that even though Kara is Supergirl she’s just as fragile as me. She as well has her pain. Now, I was the reason she was in pain. I realize in this moment I’m no better than her. I just gave my Luthor name a whole new meaning.</p>
<p>‘’Lena..please make it stop!’’ Kara begs me again.</p>
<p>I look up at Kara and see her face filled with green veins. It’s the kryptonite that has gotten to her and it gets worse by the second. I look at Kara one more time before grabbing the button from my pocket. I press it in the hope it shuts down the defense system. I want to make it stop. But I realize something is terribly wrong when the system won’t shut down. To make it even worse Kara gets injected with even more kryptonite.</p>
<p>‘’Lena..’’ are the last words from Kara before I see falling onto the ground. I speed towards Kara and catch her in my arms before she reaches the ground. I sit on my knees with Kara’s head on my lap when I see her blue eyes staring at me. ‘’I..Lena..’’she mumbles to me. But I can’t make out what Kara is trying to say. Before she can finish her sentence, her eyes close.</p>
<p>‘’No!’’ I scream out to Kara. ‘’Stay with me. Damn it.. I’m so sorry! Oh my god’’ I just realized I might have killed Kara right in my arms. Tears are filling my eyes and they drip down on Kara’s logo of her suit. I look around to fortress but I don’t know what to do. I feel Kara fading away with every second.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>……</p>
<p>
  <strong>Alex’ point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>The minute I lost contact with Kara I knew right away something was wrong. I called Clark just to be sure so I could get to fortress if needed to help Kara.</p>
<p>Clark came to the DEO right away when I notified him that I lost sight of Kara. He grabs me before he flies of towards the fortress. Within a minute I stand inside the fortress with Superman.</p>
<p>Clark puts me down on the ground when we finally reach the room where all the weapons are stored that Lex Luthor made. I look around the room when I notice Lena with Kara in her arms. Lena seems to be sobbing and Kara seems to be unconscious.</p>
<p>I grab my gun from my side and aim it at Lena while I run towards Kara and Lena. I look with disbelief at the sight of Kara who is clearly affected by kryptonite. ‘’What did you do to her?! I growl out to Lena while aiming my gun at her head.</p>
<p>Lena looks up and I see her green eyes filled with tears. She looks heartbroken. I notice the trembling in her voice when she answers my question. ‘’I..I used kryptonite on her..’’ Lena mumbles to me between her tears.</p>
<p>‘Hearing those words. The words that I was always afraid of that would happen made me go insane. I readied the gun and pulled the trigger within seconds. The sound of my gun going of was hearable throughout the entire fortress.</p>
<p>Lena looks at me with shock in her eyes when she realized what I just did.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Burden</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Alex’ point of view.</strong>
</p><p>I feel the gun still trembling in my hand. Tears are filling my eyes before I look down at Lena again. I see the fear in her eyes. She looks at me, almost pleading not to pull the trigger again. I notice how a circle of blood is forming around Lena and Kara.</p><p>Lena is half down on the ground with Kara’s head still resting on her lap. Kara’s entire face is covered in green veins because of the exposure to kryptonite.</p><p>Lena is gasping for air in front of me. I scan her entire body and notice that my bullet hit her. I see her hand reaching for the wound but she’s too weak to put pressure on it. Blood is flooding out of the wound and it makes the floor more red every second. I don’t hesitate for a second and turn around to face Clark.</p><p>‘’Please, you have to get Kara safe’’ I ask him. Just in the hope that if Clark takes Kara to the DEO they can somehow still save her.</p><p>Clark nods at me before speaking to me ‘’What about Luthor?’’. Clark points to Lena on the ground. I turn around and see Lena on the ground, struggling to even breathe. I take a deep breath before kneeling down next to Lena and Kara. I look into Lena’s green eyes and see the fear taking over her entire demeanor.</p><p>Clark comes rushing towards us and lifts up Kara from Lena’s lap before he flies away from the fortress.</p><p>Lena is still looking at me. She doesn’t say a thing. But she doesn’t even have to. I see the fear in her eyes. It’s written all over her face. I’m about to put my hands on her wound, but she tries to pull my hands away.</p><p>‘’Alexx..don’t’’ she mumbles between her tears. Her voice sounds weak and I know that she needs help as fast as possible.</p><p>I don’t listen to her and put both of my hands on her wound. Trying to stop the bleeding. ‘’I’m not going to let you die as well’’ I say to her.</p><p>…….</p><p>
  <strong>Lena’s point of view.</strong>
</p><p>I try to focus on Alex who is kneeling besides me. But it’s no use. The pain is overwhelming and somehow I welcome it. I feel like a knife was stuck inside of me. I look up to meet Alex still staring at me. I see the worry in her brown, bright eyes. I know I deserve her shooting me. After all, I injected Kara with kryptonite. Knowing all too well, that it could kill her. I guess I’m more of a Luthor than I initially thought.</p><p>The silence inside the fortress is interrupted when I hear footsteps approaching us. I try to look at the side and see Superman hovering over me and Alex. I hear Alex mumbling something to him before Superman lifts me up in his arms and flies away. That’s the minute everything goes to black.</p><p>…….</p><p>
  <strong>Alex’ point of view.</strong>
</p><p> It’s been exactly 7 days since Lena had injected Kara with kryptonite. Things haven’t changed since then. Today was no different. My alarm goes of at exactly 5 am. That’s the time I want to get up. To get ready to be at the DEO as early as possible just in the hope there will be any progress with Kara. Kara has been crashing a lot. Her heart has not been able to deal with the amount of kryptonite she has been exposed to because of Lena.</p><p>The same story goes for Lena. Since Superman flew her to the DEO things have been the same as well. I check up on Lena every day. To see if she wakes up from her coma. But she hasn’t.</p><p>I arrive at the DEO at exactly 5.30. Most of the hallways are still empty and somehow that makes me feel at ease. I never liked the crowd. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I walk down the main hallway towards med bay where Lena and Kara are.</p><p>I stop in front of Kara’s room and see her lying on her bed. There are still some visible green veins on her face. It terrifies me everytime I see it. What makes it even worse is knowing that Lena Luthor, our supposed best friend, did this to her. To my own sister. I know it has clouded my judgement before but that’s not a mistake I will make again.</p><p>I walk into Kara her room and stop at the side of her bed. I look up at the screen and see that her heartbeat is stable. Kara seems okay for now. I grab her hand and hold it tightly.</p><p>‘’I need you Kara. You’re all I have..’’ I whisper to her while tears are forming in my eyes. ‘’I need you to fight. Please fight, Kara..’’ I add. I try to hold myself together but it’s no use. The tears are flooding down my cheeks. Filling the floor with drops all over.</p><p>It’s about 10 minutes later when I regain my composure. I let go of Kara’s hand and walk out of the room. I turn around one more time to look at my sister before I walk to the room next to Kara’s.</p><p>I take a deep breath before slamming the door open. The loud bang of the door is heard throughout the entire hallway. Luckily there is nobody here.</p><p>I walk into the room to see Lena Luthor lying on a bed. I sit down on the chair next to Lena’s bed. I try to look away from the brunette. Because somehow looking at her makes me even more furious. Knowing what she did to Kara is unforgivable. But knowing what I did to her in return is no excuse either. I know Kara would never agree with me shooting Lena. I know Kara’s judgement had been clouded by the feelings she has for Lena. She always sees the good in people.</p><p>I look up at Lena for a second and my anger takes it over for a moment. ‘’Damn it, Lena! Snap out of it!’’ I growl out loudly. The anger is written all over my words.</p><p>That’s the exact moment when my phone rings and I answer it right away.</p><p>‘’Director Danvers, here. What’s up?’’ I ask through the phone not knowing who the hell would call this early in the morning.</p><p>‘’We need you director Danvers. There’s been an alien attack downtown!’’ I hear through the phone.</p><p>‘’Al right. I’ll come right away!’’ I say through the phone before hanging up. I stand up from the chair next to Lena’s bed and look down at Lena one more time. ‘’If she ever wakes up, she will be heartbroken by you. She always thought you were the good Luthor’’ I spat out in anger before leaving Lena behind.</p><p>…….</p><p>
  <strong>Lena’s point of view.</strong>
</p><p>My head fells dizzy and my eyes feel heavy but I try to open my eyes anyway. The first thing that greet my eyes is a bright light taking over. It’s so bright that I close my eyes again right away. It hurts my head.  </p><p>A few moments later I hear footsteps near me. I try to listen closely. To tell how many people are around me. But it’s no use. My head hurts too much to focus properly.</p><p>It isn’t until I hear a familiar voice that I open my eyes right away. I look up to see Alex Danvers standing next to me. I take in her look and see how exhausted she looks. I notice the anger in her demeanor mixed with worry. I try to open my mouth to speak but I can’t. That’s when I look down to see a tube, that probably helped me regulate my breathing. But it makes me go into panic and the next thing I try to do is pull the tube out of me.</p><p>‘’Lena, don’t!’’ I hear Alex speaking to me. I notice Alex opening my mouth to remove the tube from airway. She takes out the tube and I feel relieved right away. I look up at Alex again and see her sitting down on a nearby chair.</p><p>‘’We need to talk, Lena’’ she says to me. I hear the carefulness in her voice. I notice that she is very careful with her words. That makes me afraid somehow.</p><p>I want to answer her but my throat is sore so I just nod at her. Trying to remain calm.</p><p>‘’Do you remember what happened?’’ Alex asks me. I take a deep breath before nodding at her. Of course I remember what happened. I can’t think about anything else I think to myself. I’ve gone mad and probably killed Kara in the process.</p><p>‘’I shot you’’ Alex blurs out, out of nowhere. Not surprising me because the last thing I remember before waking up is Alex who stared at me in anger.</p><p>I look at Alex and see the guilt in her eyes for a second before she pulls herself together. She looks right at me and I notice the sincerity in her look. ‘’I would shoot you again if you ever hurt Kara again. You have to understand that the minute I saw Kara, wounded, lying in your lap, I went insane and I didn’t think straight anymore’’ she admits to me.</p><p>‘’I..I understand..’’ I somehow am able to blur out these words. Alex looks surprised at me. She nods at me but is interrupted when her phone rings.</p><p>‘’Director Danvers, here. What’s up?’’ she says through the phone. Alex mumbles something else in the phone before hanging up. She looks back at me with a serious look before interrupting the silence in the room ‘’I have to go. Stay in bed. You need to recover’’ she says to me before disappearing out of my room.</p><p>The minute Alex disappeared into the hallway. I try to pull myself together with all the strength I have. I noticed before that Alex didn’t mention how Kara was doing. So I want to know it for myself. I somehow pull myself up and sit down on the edge of my bed before trying to stand up. The moment I stand up I feel the pain going through my leg. I look down at my leg and see the bandages wrapped around my upper leg. I decide to ignore the pain anyway and take a few steps towards the door.</p><p>I look around the hallway and that’s when I notice the room next to mine. I stumble to the room next to me when I notice her. Kara, or Supergirl, or both. Or the same. It was still confusing me at times. I take a deep breath before looking at Kara. I see her lying on the bed. Her face is filled with green veins from the kryptonite. Sheets were covering her until her neck. I notice the blonde curly hair that’s half red. Her breathing is unsteady and she looks to be on the edge of dying.</p><p>Looking at Kara let reality hit me. ‘’Oh my god.. What have I done..?’’ I cry out loudly throughout the hallway. I burst out into tears and fall down onto the ground crying.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Crashing down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Alex’ point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>About two hours have passed since I last checked on Kara. I walk back into the DEO after a long mission. There was an abduction that involved an alien child. I take a deep breath before I put my gear down on the table. I grab my gun and put it back in the case at my side.</p>
<p>I want to check up on Kara so I walk towards med bay. I make my way down the hallway and go the left. I open the door of the hall and walk down to the left where Kara and Lena are. When I walk around the corner I see that Kara’s door is open. The tension rises in my body and I grab my gun from my side. I put my finger on the trigger before rushing into Kara’s room.</p>
<p>To my surprise I see Lena sitting next to Kara’s bed on a chair. I look with disbelief at Lena and feel my grip tighten around the trigger of my gun. ‘’Back away from her, RIGHT NOW!’’ I growl out in anger.</p>
<p>I see Lena turn around in shock. It’s clear to me that she didn’t hear me coming. She turns around and looks me straight into the eyes. I see a confusing look in the green eyes of her. ‘’I’m not saying it again. Walk away from Kara. RIGHT NOW!’’ I repeat one more time. Lena nods and stands up from the chair. I aim my gun at her and gesture Lena to go to her own room. Lena walks out of Kara’s room in front of me and I follow her back to her own room.</p>
<p>I notice the stumbling walk off Lena. It was clear that she wasn’t feeling so well. Lena sits down on her bed and looks back at me.</p>
<p>‘’You can lower the gun’’ she tells me in a somewhat scared voice. I notice the trembling voice she is speaking with. I can’t determinate whether it’s an act or if she’s really scared. To be honest, I don’t care.</p>
<p>I see Lena lying down on her bed. See crawls under the blanket and takes a deep breath. I’m about to say something when she interrupts the silence.</p>
<p>‘’I killed her, didn’t I?’’ she asks me all of a sudden. When the question hits me I feel the tension rise inside of me. My hands form into a fist and I can feel the tension rise in my hands. I look at the ground for a second trying to regain my composure but it’s no use. I feel the anger rising with the second.</p>
<p>‘’Is that a rhetorical question?’’ I snap at Lena for even asking that question. She’s smart enough to know that when she decided to trap Kara inside the kryptonite cage that it would hurt or even kill Kara. ‘’You have got a lot of nerve, Luthor’’ I add before looking away for a second. I really want to grab my gun again in this moment and just pull the trigger until I’m out of bullets.</p>
<p>I see Lena looking at me. I notice the hurt look in her eyes but I decide to ignore it. I know she’s not worth it.</p>
<p>‘’I didn’t.. think.. I’’ she mumbles to me. ‘’I didn’t mean.. I’’ she tries to form a right sentence but I see the struggle. ‘’Cut it out with the act, Lena. You knew damn right what you were doing to Kara!’’ I yell out before tears are starting to form in my eyes. I feel my entire body shake. I can’t understand how Lena could have hurt Kara like this. If Lena knew Kara even a little bit she would have known that Kara just wanted to protect her. In return, Lena used Kara for weeks and even used kryptonite on her.</p>
<p>‘’Admit it already! You knew this could kill her. ADMIT IT’’ I demand from Lena to answer me. I want her to admit that she knows it would have killed Kara.</p>
<p>…….</p>
<p>
  <strong>Lena’s point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>I see Alex’ tension rise every second. She looks pissed off and I know denying everything is no use anymore. Alex knows as well as me, that I know the consequences of kryptonite. I know kryptonite would have at least affected Kara in a bad way.</p>
<p>I nod at Alex before answering to her. ‘’I knew’’ I say before turning silent again. I see the puzzling look on Alex’ face before she takes a few steps towards me. Her angry looks turns into disgust and I can see the hate right in her brown eyes. She is staring at me. I see her sit down on the chair next to me.</p>
<p>‘’I wanted Kara to suffer for what she did to me..’’ I admit. Admitting my intentions to Alex is not easy but I know it’s the only way.</p>
<p>‘’Do I have to remind you of everything Kara has done for you?’’ she says all of a sudden. I look confused at Alex before taking a deep breath.</p>
<p>‘’She has saved your life so many times. She has always been there for you, Lena. She was your best friend. You don’t attempt to murder your own damn best friend. FUCK! I even thought we were friends. You didn’t only betray Kara, you betrayed all of us. How could you?’’</p>
<p>I don’t know what to say to Alex. I can’t even explain myself why I did what I did. ‘’I..’’ I mumble but no words come out.</p>
<p>‘’Funny. I asked Kara the same thing. How she could hide her identity for me for so long.’’</p>
<p>‘’How can you even ask her that?’’ Alex spits out. I hear the annoyance in her voice.</p>
<p>‘’Because you don’t lie to your so called ‘’BEST FRIEND’’ I say way too loud. I want to take it back but I know I am already saying the words.</p>
<p>‘’She was protecting you. You don’t even know how many times Kara came to me to ask me if she should’ve told you. She felt so guilty all the time. But me and the others always told her not to tell you. Because of all the risks. Look where that got her. She is lying in the room next door, and her situation is getting worse by the hour. So whatever excuse you’re coming up with. It’s no use. You can’t help it. Hell, it’s even in your last name. You’re a Luthor. Kara always thought you were a good Luthor. I always had my doubts about you. But she, she only saw the good in you, Lena. She fucking loved you’’ I hear Alex spill out to me. I hear the sincerity in her words. Those words hit me like a knife in the heart and I realize that she’s totally right.</p>
<p>‘’I  have  done  terrible  things  to  protect  myself. I admit that. But it  has  never  kept  me  safe  from  pain.  It's  just  brought  me  a  new  kind  of misery.  And  I  moved  further  and  further  away  from  the  person  I  was,  until one  day  I  woke  up  and  I  was  utterly  alone. I..am sorry’’ I admit to Alex.</p>
<p>‘’I will never, ever, forgive you. So spare me your apologies I don’t want to hear it’’  Alex says to me. After that I see her standing up and taking a few steps towards me. I see her grab cuffs from her side and she puts on of the cuffs around my wrist before cuffing me to the bed.</p>
<p>‘’I can’t risk you attempting to kill her. You’re under arrest for the attempted murder of Kara Zor-el’’ Alex says to me before she is about to leave the room.</p>
<p>‘’Alex wait’’ I say trying to stop Alex in her tracks. ‘’There may be a way to save her’’ I add. When I was in Kara’s room before I realized there is one way to save Kara.</p>
<p>Alex turns around to look at me. She looks confused and hopeful at the same time. ‘’What do you mean?’’ she asks me.</p>
<p>‘’We both know Kara won’t make it long. I saw her just before. The kryptonite has affected her entire system. But I think there’s a way to reverse the effect of kryptonite on her’’ I admit to Alex.</p>
<p>‘’What? How?’’ she asks me confused.</p>
<p>‘’Blue kryptonite.’’</p>
<p>‘’Does that even exist?’’ Alex asks me. I hear the doubt in her voice. I’m not even sure if it exists but I’ve heard stories about blue kryptonite. The one thing that can remove the powers of Kryptonians.</p>
<p>‘’I think so’’ I admit to Alex.  </p>
<p>‘’What would that do to her?’’ Alex asks me suspicious. I see that Alex clearly doesn’t trust me and I can’t blame her.</p>
<p>‘’If I’m correct it will take away her Kryptonian powers. She will become mortal.’’</p>
<p>Alex shakes her head at me. ‘’No. Kara would never forgive me if we took away her powers. There has to be another way. She is strong enough. She will wake up. I believe in her’’ Alex tells me before leaving me behind in the room.</p>
<p>……</p>
<p>
  <strong>Alex’ point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>Another weeks passed by and my life has been the same as the week before. My alarm goes off at 5.00 every morning. I rush towards the med bay every morning when I arrive at the DEO. I always go to see Kara. To see if there is any change. But every day I walk into the room with no progress. Kara is still covered in green veins and there’s no positive news about her wellbeing. She’s been non responsive for about two weeks now. The last conversation with Lena is still playing on my mind. But I let it slip and try to focus on Kara who is lying next to me on the bed.</p>
<p>I grab her hand and try to hold back my tears. Seeing her like this is hurting so much. All I want is to have a normal conversation with her. Or have the most ridiculous lunches with her because she can eat so much.</p>
<p>My thoughts are interrupted by J’onn who I hear standing in the doorway. ‘’Any progress?’’ he asks me curiously.</p>
<p>I turn around to face J’onn and shake my head before answering him ‘’No..nothing. She’s been the same ever since. I’m losing hope J’onn..’’ I admit to him. J’onn doesn’t hesitate for a second and walks towards me. He pulls me in for a hug and in that moment I let all of my emotions run free.</p>
<p>The silence in the room is interrupted by the sound of beeps coming from the room next to Kara’s. I pull away from the hug with J’onn and recognize the sound of the beeping right away.</p>
<p>I sprint towards Lena’s room and notice Lena shaking uncontrollably in her bed. J’onn runs after me into Lena’s room as well. ‘’GET A CRASH CART!’’ I yell to J’onn.</p>
<p>J’onn nods and rushes towards the hallway to get a crash cart. I check to see if Lena has a pulse but there’s none. ‘’Damn it. Lena. Damn you’’ I yell at her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Confrontation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Alex’ point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>I see J’onn come rushing into the room with the crash cart in his hands. I intubated Lena in the meantime.  I see J’onn grab the paddles from the cart. He is about to hand them over to me. I shake my head at him, letting him know he should charge the paddles. My hands are pressing against Lena’s chest and I’m trying to give her heart massage as good as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I keep doing it, hoping her heart will start again. J’onn scrapes his throat and interrupts me. ‘’All charged’’ Jonn puts the paddles on Lena’s chest and gives her a shock. I look at the monitor but there’s still no change. So I look at J’onn before interrupting the total silence ‘’Charge again’’ I say to J’onn. J’onn nods at me and charges the paddles again.</p>
<p>‘’Charge to 200’’.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>J’onn puts the paddles on Lena’s chest one more time. After that I welcome the beep of the machine standing next to the bed. ‘’There’s a heartbeat’’ J’onn says to me. He looks with a relieved look at me. ‘’That was close..’’ he mumbles after that before putting the paddles away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I nod at J’onn before walking out of the room back into the hallway. I see J’onn checking up on Lena before I see him walking towards me. I notice the worry in his eyes. He always has that look when we’re on a mission or someone of our friends are hurt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stops next to me and doesn’t say a word. ‘’Alex..’’ he tries to find the right words to say to me. I chuckle at J’onn for a second. He always seem to cheer me up for a bit. Even if it’s just for a few seconds.</p>
<p>‘’She needs to be watched closely the next 24 hours. We still don’t know why she coded..’’ he adds. I look up at him and shake my head ‘’No, no. I don’t want to watch her. She’s.. she. She is the reason why I probably lost my sister’’ I say harshly to J’onn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>J’onn turns around to face me. ‘’She’s not gone. Not yet, Kara is strong’’ he tells me. Trying to reassure me that I should not be giving up on Kara.</p>
<p>‘’How can you be sure..? She’s been like this for two weeks now..’’ I say while tears are starting to form in my eyes. My whole body starts to shake and I notice the trembling of my lips.</p>
<p>‘’Because it’s Kara’’ he says to me trying to convince me.</p>
<p>I look up at J’onn and give a hint of a smile before regaining my composure. ‘’I’ll watch Lena..’’ I mumble to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>J’onn nods at me and is about to say something else when his phone rings. I see him answer the phone. ‘’Sorry, Alex. I have to go. Mission’’ he tells me before running out of med bay.</p>
<p>‘’Goodluck, J’onn’’ I tell him before watching him disappear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I turn around and look through the window into Lena’s room. I take a deep breath before walking back into Lena’s room knowing this is going to be a long night. The one person I don’t want to see, I now have to watch. I sit down on the chair next to Lena’s bed and look at Lena for a second.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I notice that Lena’s breathing is unsteady. Her chest is moving rapidly. I stand up to check up on her but she’s stable for now. I sit down in the chair again, trying to get some rest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The night passes quickly and before I know it I wake up in the morning in the same place I was last night. Lena’s room. I open my eyes and notice Lena staring at me. Her green piercing eyes look right at me. I see the fear in her eyes and somehow I feel for her. Just for a moment though, memories of her trying to kill Kara come back after a few seconds. I sit straight up in the chair before interrupting the silence in the room ‘’Your heart stopped last night. We were able to get you back..’’ I say to Lena who is still looking at me. I see the confusion in her eyes. She just nods at me before closing her eyes again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Another week passed and things were still the same. Kara was still unconscious and Lena wasn’t doing well. She had been intubated for over a week and even now her breathing was unsteady. She was struggling to stay alive and it clearly affected her. She looked weaker everyday and I know it’s just a matter of time before she codes again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…….</p>
<p>
  <strong>Lena’s point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>I can see Alex through the window standing in the hallway. She looks exhausted and I know I am to blame for her feeling like this. If I had just chosen a different path, If I had chosen to try to understand Kara. None of this would have happened. Alex visits me every day. But every day is the same. She comes check on me, she gives me a disapproving look before disappearing for the rest of the day. She’s been totally silent to me since I’ve talked about the blue kryptonite and I can’t blame her. It’s not like I can talk because of the tube in my mouth. Maybe it’s better that I can’t.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I’m about to close my eyes and go to sleep when I hear a loud scream coming from the hallway. I recognize the scream coming from Alex. Alex disappears to the room next to mine. I know what this means. It’s Kara who’s probably crashing. When I saw Kara the last time it was clear she had not much time left. The amount of kryptonite I exposed her to in the fortress had been lethal to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…….</p>
<p>
  <strong>Alex’ point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>J’onn has to hold me back with all his strength to try to keep me out of Kara’s room. I bang my fists against his chest protesting for him to let me go. I want to help with Kara. I want to check up on her but he doesn’t let me. ‘’Alex, Alex, please calm down’’ J’onn tells me.</p>
<p>Tears are forming in my eyes and I can’t hold myself together anymore ‘’Please, I want to see her’’ I cry out to him.</p>
<p>J’onn pulls me in for a hug. He tries to calm me down but it’s no use. My crying becomes worse every second. I lean my head against J’onn and he comforts me. I’m about to give up on everything when suddenly the silence is interrupted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’Alex..?’’</p>
<p>I recognize that voice everywhere. ‘’Kara?!’’ I tear myself lose from the hug and push J’onn aside before rushing into Kara’s room. I run into Kara’s room and push the doctor aside to see my sister.</p>
<p>The doctor looks annoyed at me but lets me pass anyway. I stand next to the bed and grab Kara’s hand before looking at her.</p>
<p>‘’Alex?’’ I hear softly coming from Kara. She seems to be weak and it’s barely hearable.</p>
<p>I look up at Kara and see her eyes that are filled with a green like color. I know it’s the kryptonite that has effected Kara’s entire system. ‘’Where am I?’’ Kara asks me. I notice the fear in her voice. Kara sounds scared. It breaks my heart to see her like this.</p>
<p>I can’t hold myself together and I welcome the tears that are forming in my eyes again. ‘’Kara, it’s me. Alex. You’re safe. We’re at the DEO’’ I say to her. Trying to calm her down as much as possible.</p>
<p>‘’Alex..I..’’ Kara tries to finish her sentence but I notice that she doesn’t have enough energy to finish it.</p>
<p>‘’Sshh, Kara. Just rest’’ I tell her. I notice Kara slipping away right after that. I sit down on the chair next to her bed and keep holding her hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The doctor turns around to face me after she is done checking up on Kara. ‘’She might be awake. But director, I’m afraid she’s not going to make it if there’s no cure. The kryptonite has affected her entire system. Her vision is gone and it’s just a matter of time before her entire body stops working’’ the doctor tells me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I just nod at the doctor trying to take it all in. The doctor nods at me before leaving me and Kara behind in the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…….</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Lena’s point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>Alex visits me about two days after I saw her last. I look up at Alex who is standing at the side of my bed. I notice Alex looking up at the monitor before removing the tube from my throat. I feel relieved when the tube is removed.</p>
<p>Alex hands me over water and a take a quick sip before trying to speak to her ‘’Alex. I heard you scream..’’ I mumble to her. I don’t want to cross any boundaries but I have to know if it’s Kara.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I see the change in Alex composure. She looks at me angry before answering me ‘’What about it?’’ she snaps at me.</p>
<p>I try not to react to her. I understand Alex’ her hate towards me. I deserve it and to be honest I’m surprised she’s even here right now.</p>
<p>‘’Is she.. is she..dead?’’ I ask her carefully. Wanting to know what happened to Kara.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I see Alex shaking her head at me ‘’No. Kara woke up’’ she tells me. I see the hurt and worrying look in Alex’ face and in that moment I know it can’t be good.</p>
<p>‘’What?’’ I ask surprised. Suddenly everything comes back to me. Every second of what happened. It’s a lot to take in but I let it in anyway. ‘’She’s awake?’’ I ask all of a sudden.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I see Alex nodding at me. ‘’She sleeps a lot. She can’t see and she’s..she’s..’’ Alex tries to finish her sentence but I notice the broken look in her expression. I know exactly what’s happening right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’You can save her, Alex. I know we’ve had this conversation before but..’’</p>
<p>Alex looks up at me and shakes her head at me ‘’No!’’ she yells at me. I notice the anger rise in her demeanor and I know it’s time for me to shut up. I don’t want to piss her off any more.</p>
<p>‘’There has to be another way..’’ I hear her mumble to herself. I notice the conflict she’s having about this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before I can say another thing Alex rushes out of my room. I look after her and watch her disappear into Kara’s room. I look down for a second and notice the cuffs that are still around my wrists. I want to get free but I can’t.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…….</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Kara’s point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first thing I feel is the burning pain throughout my entire body. I recognize the pain right away. It’s kryptonite, it feels like nails are running through my blood. I hear footsteps around me but I can’t make out who it is. I open my eyes in the hope I can see who it is. But I’m greeted by darkness and I know what this means. I can’t see. I am about to say something when I feel someone grabbing my hand. I notice the soft touch and I know that it’s Alex right away.</p>
<p>‘’Alex?’’ I ask softly. I try speak more loudly but it’s hurt to much. Even saying her name costs me a lot of energy.</p>
<p>‘’Yes, Kara. I’m right here’’ Alex tells me. I can feel Alex her hand give my hand a little squeeze before she lets go.</p>
<p>‘’Where am I?’’ I ask Alex. Not knowing where I am. The last thing I remember is Lena holding me inside the fortress. She used kryptonite on me and I passed out.</p>
<p>‘’Med bay’’ Alex tells me. Trying to calm me down. I hear the worry in her voice but I decide to let it go.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’What happened with Lena?’’ I ask all of a sudden. I hear silence filling the room. I am waiting for Alex to answer me but I notice the struggle she has with answering my question. I hear Alex taking a deep breath before finally interrupting the silence.</p>
<p>‘’She’s alive if that’s what you want to know. She’s here as well’’ I hear Alex struggle with finding the right sentences before telling me what happened to Lena.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My mind goes right back to the moment where Lena revealed that she had been using me for weeks. I tried to talk to her. To explain that I never meant to hurt her. That I wanted to protect her from all the danger that knowing my identity would cause. But the only thing I got in return was a betrayal and her trying to kill me. She nearly killed me and the thought of that made me sick. She was supposed to be my friend. I definitely misjudged her and I don’t know how to handle this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I feel that my eyes are watery and I think there’s tears forming in them but I can’t be sure because I don’t feel it. My eyes feel numb, but my thoughts are confirmed when Alex pulls me in for a hug. I feel how careful she is with me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alex let’s me go quickly after that. I notice the anxiety that Alex has. It’s sensible in the entire room. I’m about to say something when Alex interrupts the silence. ‘’I shot her’’ she admits to me.</p>
<p>‘’I would do it again if’’ she adds. I can hear the persistence in Alex her voice and I know right away that she means it. Knowing Alex shot Lena doesn’t surprise me. If I found Alex wounded or almost killed and the person who did this was close. I would probably do the same thing, if not worse.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’Kara we need to talk about you..If..’’ Alex tries to say something to me. But I interrupt her mid-sentence. ‘’Can I talk to her?’’ I ask Alex.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The end</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Kara’s point of view</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I try look up at Alex. I notice the worry in her breathing she is trying to hide it but it’s no use. I get Alex her reaction. Alex knows what Lena did to me and I know she is worries that Lena will try something again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I’m about to say something to Alex when she finally responds to my question minutes before ‘’If that’s what you want..’’ she mumbles to me. Clearly not liking the idea of me talking to Lena.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I nod at Alex and am about to sit up at the edge on my bed when Alex stops me. ‘’Kara, stay down. You can’t walk’’ she tells me with worry.</p>
<p>I let out a deep sigh before lying down on my bed again. ‘’Can you please take me to Lena?’’ I ask silently.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’Yes. I will. But before you go to Lena. We have to talk about your situation, Kara’’ Alex tells me. I hear the undertone in her voice, there is a worry in her voice and it scares me if I’m being honest.</p>
<p>‘’Alright..’’ I say to her while trying to figure out what’s going on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I hear take a deep breath before answering to me. ‘’Kara..you..you’re dying..’’ she says to me in a hurry before I hear her sniffing. I know she’s crying because I can notice it in her voice.</p>
<p>I take in the words. ‘’Dying..’’ I let out a chuckle before the whole rooms turns silent. I am trying to understand what’s happening to me. I don’t want to face the fact about what Alex just told me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My thoughts are interrupted by Alex who speaks again ‘’However there might be a solution..’’ I hear her say to me.</p>
<p>I wish I could see Alex’ face right now because I hear a but in her sentence ‘’But..?’’ I ask her.</p>
<p>‘’If I save you, Kara. You’ll become mortal. You’ll lose all your powers..I..’’ Alex tries to finish her sentence but I interrupt her right away.</p>
<p>‘’Losing my powers would feel like dying to me.. Alex. It’s who I am. I can’t.. I can’t’’ I say out louder with the second before I burst into tears. I want to scream but the hurt in my throat won’t let me. Instead I just cry silently in my bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alex jumps on the edge of my bed and pulls me in a for a hug. I welcome the hug and let my head rest on Alex her shoulder.</p>
<p>‘’Kara, I knew you would react this way. That’s why I didn’t do it before. I knew you wouldn’t want it..’’ Alex tells me. I notice the honesty in her voice and I appreciate it. I want to make this decision on my own.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>……</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Alex’ point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>I wake up the next day. The first thing I notice when I open my eyes is Kara who’s still asleep next to me. I see the green veins on her face and it saddens me to see her like this. The conversation I had with Kara the night before breaks my heart because I’m afraid of losing my sister. I know she doesn’t want to lose her powers. But if she doesn’t want me to save her. I know she’ll die. She, my beloved sister will be gone.</p>
<p>I put my feelings aside for now and get up from the bed. I stand up and look back one more time at Kara before I walk into the hallway. I stop in my tracks for a second and look through the window of Lena’s room. I see Lena lying on the bed. I take a deep breath before walking into her room.</p>
<p>I notice Lena staring at me. She follows my movement with her eyes. I sit down on the chair next to her bed before interrupting the silence ‘’She wants to talk to you’’ I blur out, out of nowhere.</p>
<p>I look at Lena and see the shock in her eyes. Shock isn’t the only thing I notice. Shock turns into fear, and fear seems to turn into hurt. I notice that Lena is trying to find words to answer to what I just told her. I see Lena’s lip tremble for a second and a tear is streaming down her cheek. Suddenly she finds some words to answer to me ‘’I..she..’’ she mumbles to me. Obviously failing to make a complete sentence.</p>
<p>‘’Why would she want to talk to me? I betrayed her’’ Lena says all of a sudden. I notice the carefully chosen words in her sentence. The words betrayal flares up an anger inside of me for a second. I know Lena notices this because she stops talking right away.</p>
<p>‘’I can’t answer that for you. It’s her choice. Not mine’’ I say to Lena before standing up to leave Lena behind in the room.</p>
<p>I’m about to leave the room when Lena asks me to stop.</p>
<p>‘’Stop. Alex. We..I mean. Please, can we talk?’’ she asks me. I turn around to face her one more time. I look her right into her green eyes and nod at Lena before walking back to the chair to sit down.</p>
<p>‘’If you want to talk. Talk. I’ll listen’’ I answer Lena.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lena nods at me. She takes a deep breath before speaking. ‘’Thank you for the way you handled the incident at the time. I am sure that my actions must have caused you great distress. I get why you shot me, Alex. I can’t even imagine the things that went through your mind in the fortress. I know you must be extremely disappointed in me, and I don't blame you for hating me. I’m devastated that my actions have caused so much pain and hurt. I wish there was a way to take it back. But I know there isn’t. I deeply regret my actions and know I violated your trust’’ she tells me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I try to take in her words and I know she means them but I can’t accept it because I don’t want her apology. I don’t want her to feel better because the fact is that she is the reason why Kara will probably die.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I take a deep breath before answering Lena. ‘’I don’t want your apology. It won’t heal Kara. It won’t make everything go away that has happened. The thing is Lena, you fucked up. You betrayed us. And the funny thing is, you betrayed us by feeling betrayed by us. Don’t you get it? Some things can’t be fixed..’’ I tell her in all honesty.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lena looks at me and I see her teary eyes she doesn’t even hesitate and answers right away ‘’I know’’ she says before turning silent again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I nod at her before standing up to the leave the room. I walk out of the room and grab the first wheelchair I see in the hallway before walking into Kara’s room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I see Kara lying awake on her bed. She seems to be having a bad day because I can see in how much pain she is. I push the wheelchair next to her bed before greeting her ‘’Hey’’.</p>
<p>‘’Alex’’ she says softly to me.</p>
<p>‘’Yes. I’m here, Kara. Take it easy’’ I tell her. Trying to ease her.</p>
<p>‘’Can I please talk to her?’’ she asks me.</p>
<p>‘’Yes. I already brought the wheelchair. If you can sit up I’ll try to help..’’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I was about to finish my sentence but J’onn interrupts me. ‘’I will help her’’ he says to me.</p>
<p>I turn around and see J’onn walking towards Kara before lifting her into the wheelchair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He turns around and smiles at me before leaving me and Kara behind in the room.</p>
<p>‘’That was fast’’ Kara states.</p>
<p>‘’Yeah..’’ I mumble before pushing Kara out of the room into the hallway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>……</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Lena’s point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>I’m still stuck in my bed when I hear the squeaking sound of a wheelchair coming closer. I try to sit up and look through my window. I see Alex pushing Kara in a wheelchair. I notice that she is coming closer to my room and in that moment I realize what’s about to happen. Kara is coming to talk to me. In my mind I had played out this moment a thousand times. But now, when it’s happening, it terrifies me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alex pushes Kara’s next to my bed and stops just besides it. I notice Alex walking out of the room away. I remain silent and don’t know what to say. Instead, I take in how Kara is doing. I notice the green veins all over her body. It seems like the kryptonite has taken over her entire system and she looks in such a bad shape that it scares me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look into Kara’s eyes and the only thing I see is green pupils staring at me filled with emptiness. I know in that moment that Kara can’t see anymore. I’m about to speak when Kara interrupts the silence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’Lena..?’’ I hear Kara ask me. I notice the hurt in her voice and it’s undeniable that I’ve a lot of damage to Kara.</p>
<p>I remain silent not knowing what to say. But that’s when Kara asks me again ‘’Lena?’’ I hear her say.</p>
<p>‘’Kara..’’ is all that seems to come out of my throat right in this moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I notice the exact moment when Kara breaks down. The exact moment when she hears me answer, she breaks down in tears, right here in front of me. I see her whole body shake with the tears that seem to be streaming down her cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’Why?’’ she asks me between her tears. I hear the desperateness in her voice. It breaks my heart to hear Kara like this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’Why?’’ I ask myself in that moment. I didn’t even know the answer to that question anymore. Why? Because maybe I didn’t know how to deal with the fact that the woman I was in love was, was this Hero. This person who always distrusted me while the woman I loved, did trust me. It make me think she didn’t trust me at all. I mean, is that why? I don’t even know myself. All I know is what I did, and there’s no coming back from that. I know, I messed up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I take a deep breath before answering. ‘’I wish I could give you a reason, Kara. But I can’t. I was blinded by rage’’ I admit to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’Oh..’’ I just hear coming from Kara. I notice the confusion in Kara’s composure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I wish Kara would express what she’s going through but she remains silent. ‘’Oh,  come  on,  you  can  scream  at me  if  you'd  like.  I  know  I  deserve  it’’ I blur out all of  a sudden.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I see Kara shaking her head at me ‘’I don’t want to talk about the past..’’ she mumbles to herself. I notice the uneasiness in her demeanor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’We have to’’ I say to her. ‘’I don’t want you to make the decision to die because your sister needs you. I understand you don’t want to face what happened but Kara. You can’t. We have to.’’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kara shakes her head again ‘’NO!!’’ She screams out to me all of a sudden. I notice the anger rising in her voice and to be honest I’m glad she is finally showing how she really feels.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>……</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Kara’s point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Imagine one day you wake up. You find yourself floating 30,000 feet above earth and you are falling down. You don’t know how you get there. But, you feel the terror inside. You start grabbing everything on your body to feel for something like a parachute cord. You keep searching for this cord that will save your life. But you never find. Soon after, you try pinch yourself and try telling yourself that it’s just a bad dream. That’s you’ll wake up soon in your own bed. Except, you do not wake up.</p>
<p>With every second passing you find yourself falling closer to the ground below. You have not woken up and you did not find the cord of the parachute.</p>
<p>A minute later, your body smashed into the earth at 500 miler per hour; your body shatters into a million pieces. Except all of this was not a bad dream and you just died. Everything that was you was obliterated into formless and scattered pieces.</p>
<p>I’m not talking about actually dying. I’m talking about emotion death, and emotion death that shatters you into a million pieces. That’s what betrayal feels like to me. To have everything you believed and trusted in, be shattered inside yourself. This moment right here, feels like that.</p>
<p>Even though I can’t see Lena. I can feel all the anger and hurt I’ve kept towards her rise to the surface. ‘’You wanna talk about the past?!’’ I yell to her.</p>
<p>‘’FINE!’’ I add before slamming my fists on the arms of my wheelchair.</p>
<p>‘’You  have  never  understood  what  it means  share  a  secret  identity  with  someone.  How  much  danger  that  puts them  in.  You...  You  never  even  understood  that  I  kept  my  identity  from you  because  I  wanted  to  protect  you.  I  know,  I  know  that  I  hurt  you  by waiting  so  long  to  tell  my  truth.  But  what  about  all  the  ways  you  hurt me?  You  pretended  to  be  my  friend  for  weeks.  Just  so  you  could  manipulate me.  You  stole  from  me.  You  convinced  me  to  steal  for  you.  And  then,  then, you  even...  You  used  Kryptonite  on  me.  I  made  one  mistake.  One  mistake that  was  only  ever  meant  to  protect  you.  And  in  return,  all  you  did  was hurting  me  in  every  way  imaginable.  You fucking took everything from me!’’ I yell out at Lena.</p>
<p>A part of me wants Lena to come with this whole dialogue about how sorry she is. But on the other hand I want to never see her again. I don’t want her apology because I know it’s useless. I know there’s no turning back to the point that we were ever friends. Hell, I loved this woman. But now? All I can feel is the damage she has caused. To the point, that I’m even so over it. I’m done.</p>
<p>‘’I’m sorry. I know I betrayed you’’ she says to me.</p>
<p>I chuckle at her because her apology pisses me off even more. ‘’Do you even know the deeper meaning behind ‘’betraying’’ someone?’’ I ask her.</p>
<p>‘’You know I do.’’</p>
<p>‘’Really now?’’ I scoff at her.</p>
<p>‘’Kara, I do know. I know it’s not just breaking the trust between two people. But it’s more than that to be simply defined. Betrayal is when you choose something or someone else over a relationship, in which a lot of time, value and emotions have been invested. It is when you can no longer look a person in their eyes because of what you have done. It is when you choose to walk away from a bond that has helped you through many problems. It stays with you. It’s emotionally and psychologically manipulating a person to get what you want. Trust me, I know. Because the only reason I’m looking at you right now, is because I know you can’t see me’’</p>
<p>…….</p>
<p>
  <strong>Lena’s point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>I look at Kara and see her heart break even more with the second when she realizes what I just said to her. I know there’s no turning back from this.</p>
<p>‘’I lov<span class="u">ed</span> you. You know?’’ I suddenly hear Kara say to me out of the blue. I notice that her sentence is in past tense. I am about to say something else when suddenly I hear a beeping sound.</p>
<p>I look back at Kara and see her shaking in the wheelchair. I don’t hesitate for a second and rip myself lose from the cuffs I was in just a few moments before. I jump out of my bed with all the strength I’ve got left and I rush towards Kara.</p>
<p>‘’SOMEONE HELP!’’ I scream out as loud as I can. In the hope there’s somewhere in the hallway. ‘’ALEX, PLEASE!’’ I scream out again.</p>
<p>I hear footsteps approaching the room. In the meantime I’m trying to hold Kara as steady as possible in her chair. I see Alex run into my room and she rushed towards Kara and me.</p>
<p>‘’OH MY GOD. What happened?’’ she asks in a panic. I notice the panic that’s written all over her face. She looks at me before she places her hand on Kara’s neck. I know she’s checking for a pulse.</p>
<p>‘’Shit!’’ Alex blurs out. I notice Alex pressing a red button that she is wearing around her neck before dragging the wheelchair towards my bed.</p>
<p>‘’Help me get her on the bed’’ she says to me. I nod at Alex before helping her lift Kara on my bed. I use all the strength I’ve got left.</p>
<p>We somehow got Kara on the bed and I see Alex giving her heart massage right away. I notice the tears in Alex’ eyes when she is trying to resuscitate Kara.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alex turns her attention to me for a second ‘’Blue kryptonite is the only way to save her, right?’’ she asks me. I notice the desperation in her eyes. I know Alex is determined to save Kara.</p>
<p>I nod at her ‘’Yes. It’s her best chance..’’ I tell Alex. I take a few steps back towards my clothes that were kept in the corner since all that happened back in the fortress. I grab a flask from my jacket and walk back towards Alex who is still trying to resuscitate Kara.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’Take a step back’’ I tell Alex. Who is desperately trying to get Kara’s heartbeat back. I see her turn around in anger to look at me. ‘’Why the fuck would I step back? I’m trying to save her?!’’ she yells at me in a flare of panic.</p>
<p>I don’t hesitate for a second and walk towards Kara. I open the flask and put it right on Kara. Alex looks at me when she finally realizes what I just did.</p>
<p>‘’Is that..?’’ she asks me. Not being able to complete her sentence.</p>
<p>I nod at Alex ‘’Yes. Blue kryptonite. I made it a long time ago just to be sure..’’ I admit to Alex. Alex looks at me and I can’t quit figure out what is going through her in this moment.</p>
<p>‘’She’ll never forgive me for this’’ she blurs out to me. I see the worry in her look and I know that Alex is speaking a truth. Kara Danvers, will never accept not having powers. At least not right away.</p>
<p>‘’May be not right away. But she’ll understand’’ I say to Alex, trying to reassure her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>……</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Alex’ point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>Weeks passed by since Lena gave Kara the blue kryptonite. Kara didn’t wake up yet but she did heal pretty fast after she was treated with blue kryptonite. I knew Lena was right. Kara would need time to get her mind around things, but at least she would still be alive. Kara being alive was all that mattered to me. Kara was my solid rock, and her not having any powers would never change that.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, Lena Luthor passed away two weeks ago. Lena, had managed to save Kara. We were not able to save Lena Luthor when one morning she crashed yet again. J’onn and I tried everything to save her. But it was too late. Lena Luthor died. The saddest thing about it is, that even though I know things would never get better. I never thought she would actually pass away. I feel sad for what happened to her. I didn’t see Lena as a villain. Lena was someone who’s past had caught up with her, time and time again. Lena was someone who was struggling to fight her own inner demons. With that battle she forgot how to survive in the here and now. That’s no excuse for what happened, and I will never understand her actions regarding Kara’s identity. But what I do understand is that she did everything she could to make up for what she did in the first place. When it mattered, she was the one who saved Kara. And for that, Lena I am thankful to you. You didn’t only try to make up for what you did, but you saved the person who matters to me the most. Kara Danvers.</p>
<p>……</p>
<p>I try to spend all my days as close as possible to Kara in the hope that she will wake up. It is exactly one week after Lena’s funeral when Kara wakes up from her coma. I sit next to her bed when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I open my eyes and see Kara looking at me.</p>
<p>‘’Alex’’ I hear softly.</p>
<p>‘’KARA!’’ I say while jumping out of my chair towards Kara to give her a hug. ‘’Oh my god. You’re awake’’ I say relieved to Kara.</p>
<p>‘’Alex’’ Kara says softly before embracing me in a hug. I can feel the softness in her demeanor and it relaxes me right away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I pull away from the hug after what seems hours. I sit down on the chair again and smile at Kara who looks a bit confused, but in overall okay. ‘’How are you feeling?’’ I ask her.</p>
<p>‘’Like I’ve been hit by a bus’’ she says while giving me a hint of a smile.</p>
<p>‘’You were out of it for about a month. So that’s normal’’ I say to her.</p>
<p>I see Kara trying to form a sentence. I know exactly what she is going to ask so I talk before she can ‘’Kara, there’s something you should know. Actually two things. Lena..’’ I am about to finish my sentence but Kara interrupts me mid-sentence.</p>
<p>‘’Lena is gone. Isn’t she?’’ she asks me. I see tears forming in her eyes and I notice the sadness form.</p>
<p>‘’I’m so sorry’’ I say to Kara. ‘’Your powers..’’ I add, figuring out how to tell Kara that she lost not only the woman she used to love but also her powers that made her Supergirl once.</p>
<p>‘’I know’’ she says to me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>……</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Kara’s point of view.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Two months have passed since Alex told me I lost my powers. Ever since then I’ve been spending most of my days inside my apartment trying to figure out what I want to next with my life. I’m not exactly sure what’s my purpose. In the past it was saving the people, saving the world. But now? I honestly didn’t know.</p>
<p>I stand up from the couch and walk towards the kitchen to make diner. I’m hungry and I feel tired. Ever since I have become mortal a lot changed. I can’t eat as much as I used to and somehow my energy is less.</p>
<p>I’m about to grab a pizza from the fridge when I hear footsteps approach me from behind. I turn around to look who’s standing behind me.</p>
<p>I turn around and see a man with blonde hair and beard stand right inside my kitchen.</p>
<p>‘’Who the hell, are you?’’ I ask with surprise. I didn’t even hear the door open. I look with suspicion at the man.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘’Mxy. Remember me? I think you can use my help’’ I hear the man the tell me. I look at the figure standing in front of me. I can’t remember Mxy looking like this.</p>
<p>‘’What  could  I  possibly  need  your  help  for?’’ I ask him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I’m about so say something else when I hear Lena’s voice coming from my tv. I turn around to see Lena and me standing inside the fortress. ‘’<em> I killed  my  brother  for  you,  for  our  friends!  </em><em>Don't  you  understand  what you've  done?’’</em></p>
<p>I shake my head ‘’No. Turn it off’’ I snap at Mxy.</p>
<p>‘’Hard reality right?’’ he asks me.</p>
<p>‘’How would you know?’’ I say coldly to Mxy. Not trying to show my feelings.</p>
<p>‘’Because, your old best friend, passed away after she used kryptonite on you. What caused you to lose your powers. What caused the world to lose Supergirl’’ Mxy tells me. I take in the words but keep shaking my head at him ‘’No. What Lena did, was not my fault! She tried to kill me’’ I growl out in anger.</p>
<p>‘’I know. But, wouldn’t you want to change your entire story?’’ Mxy asks me.</p>
<p>‘’What’s your point?’’ I ask him demanding answers.</p>
<p><strong>‘’</strong>I  am  offering  you  a  do-over.  Hmm?  I could  send  you  back  in  time.  Wouldn't  you  like  to  be  able  to  tell  Lena that  you're  Supergirl  on  your  own  terms?  Wouldn't  you  like  to  see...  what the  world  would  look  like...  if  you  controlled  the  narrative? Haven't  you suffered enough?  Hmm?  I  get  it.  You  don't  trust  me.’’</p>
<p>……</p>
<p>‘’You’re not seriously considering this are you?’’ Alex asks me through the phone. I hear the concern in her voice.</p>
<p>‘’This  is  changing  history  to  save  history. This way I can try to talk to Lena before everything went horrible wrong. This way. I will be able to get my powers back’’ I tell Alex through the phone.</p>
<p>I can hear Alex take a deep breath before answering ‘’Okay. Whatever you think is the best. I’ll support you’’ she says to me before hanging up.</p>
<p>I put down my phone on the table before returning my attention to Mxy. ‘’ All  right,  so,  how does  this  work?</p>
<p>‘’ I  will  show  you  relevant  parts  of  your  life.  You'll  tell me  when  to  pause,  I  will  snap,  like  thus,  sending  you  back.  You  will change  history.  Once  you  have  confronted  Lena,  you  will  come  back,  we will  watch  from  your  loft  and  the  safety  of  your  couch.  If  you  are comfortable  with  the  domino  effect...  I  will  then  snap  again,  at  which point,  it  will  become  reality.  Okay?’’</p>
<p>‘’Okay. I’m ready’’ I tell Mxy.</p>
<p>‘’ So,  three  years  of  friendship.  Where  did  it  go  wrong?’’ Mxy asks me all of a sudden.</p>
<p>‘’Let’s find out’’ I tell him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~ the end ~~</p>
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